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DarkerSkiesBurn
PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2016 3:44 am  Reply with quote
Alaskan Avalancher


Joined: 19 Feb 2007
Posts: 321
Location: Arctic

"I am alone...... I am Utterly alone..." (Lydia Deetz)

I have lived in Lexington KY, Pelham NY and NYC and Never have I known true absence, isolation and frustration as when I moved to Anchorage Alaska.
"Never in all my puff" (Mark Renton)

Do you know what a blessing it is to have you people in my life? I used to distribute magazines and photoshop flyers for bands on Relapse in NYC and tack them all around the city, at shows, metal bars and never ONCE did i meet anyone that was taken aback at my knowledge of music. I've gone up to someone at some random concert years ago and said "Hey Awesome Hoodie" referring to the Extol "Undeceived" swag he was wearing only to hear "Thanks" in return.
I guess i've fucking lost touch. I've been stopped by someone in NYC who was wearing a suit and tie so he could expound on how much he used to Love Godflesh (I was wearing a GF shirt) I didn't let him leave until we discussed Jesu, Final and Techno Animal (circa 2006) and got his email, myspace and maybe phone number so I could get him reacquainted with the world of non commercialized and intelligent music.

I'm at a loss. I have ONE friend that's into metal and all things Fleshy. I have a handful of other friends in other states that are into the likes of sonic youth, Skalpel, The Church and The Soft Moon, Wolf Eyes. . .

The meaning of this rant is that since my journey to Alaska, I can't meet anyone that's into REAL music, no matter the genre. I did meet a guy who bought Three tickets to some festival in Cali or Washington to see Neurosis three times and I've yet to talk to him again. Most people here "Just Love Live music"
Doesn't matter what it is, just live. The people I've met...... Fuck, I know I live in the wrong state now but I moved here to make a living wage for my skill set. The money is here but you have to dig through shit to find it (Indirect quote from Hunter Thompson about his time in NYC)

This whole meaningless rant is about me being abysmally sad because I can't find anyone that appreciates anything (in my mind) that's worth a damn. Music, Art, Poetry, Literature, Adam Curtis Documentaries....
I've had six meaningful relationships in my life and the last time I was in one was over four years ago. Thought I'd struck gold (Alaska joke) when I'd met another godless girl who was snarky and educated (college) and a smart ass only to find that she didn't read books, watched Lifetime movies and didn't do much else. This state is a haven for drunks, homeless, crime (the likes of which would make even the cop shooters in the Bronx blush) and thrill seekers that apparently soundtrack their lives to whatever banal mediocre shit their Pandora soft hits stations play.

I am so tired of not being 20 and surrounded by people that went/go to shows to see people in robes scream and beat broken cymbals that have been welded together while a guy with a contact mic screams verses of the satanic bible while a woman cries into a mic while pictures of dead animals project on to blood spattered sheets covering the next bands instruments.

I am so fucking alone and I am so tired of it. Where are all the intelligent people that know what music is, what art is, what anything is. The world is falling apart quicker than ever, I am going along with it, and I want nothing more than to build a colony for fans of Great things and to hell with the rest. Which sounds hypocritical since all of the things I hold dear confront the abysmal aspects of life and death but......
I just miss how easy it was making friends in high school based on the shirt someone was wearing or music they were listening to. I miss being able to really converse with people that are capable of critical thinking, pinch harmonics and abstract ideas. Ours is a lonely path I guess.

I know a lot of you are married or have families and this beautiful forum may be your last link to the past (I don't mean that to sound derogatory)
I think Im still stuck in the past. I want people that know the difference between good and evil, people that know how amazing Go Spread Your Wings is. People whos souls need crushing because No One feels what we do.

Im sad, lonely and wish I had friends in this beautiful albeit insane state.

Love you all.

DSB
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blackmark
PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2016 1:40 pm  Reply with quote
'Australian Minister for Avalanches'


Joined: 07 Sep 2006
Posts: 3704
Location: wales

we love you too fella. it's an interesting insight into the cultural wasteland you're in, a surprise as i'd have thought there'd always be some little hideyhole gathering place of metal/alternative in any place with a sufficient population. maybe you'll have to start preaching the godflesh word and let the people come to you? chin up mate

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doomride
PostPosted: Thu Aug 18, 2016 3:59 pm  Reply with quote
Lord Marcus Ironfist teh Twonk-bane


Joined: 19 Oct 2006
Posts: 13358
Location: Miami,Florida

Hang in there,DSB...you will eventually make some friends who share your interests...probably when you stop looking for it...in the meantime,keep posting here...even if this place is populated by a few massive twonks...



I am going to go listen to Pandemonium by Killing Joke now....

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Elricj
PostPosted: Fri Aug 19, 2016 1:11 am  Reply with quote
Burning Outside


Joined: 05 Sep 2006
Posts: 2421
Location: Oceania

All I can say is there is a couple that does a goth/rock podcast in Alaska on the Killing Joke facebook page, so there's gotta be *someone* in that state. I suppose blasting music into the void is pretty grim and metal tho.


:evil:
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froshaka
PostPosted: Fri Aug 19, 2016 2:09 pm  Reply with quote
Member


Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 78

At the end of the day its a smaller city and the psychology that develops in places like that is basically...'we'll take anything we can get'.

You just basically described my 6 year excursion to Des Moines, Iowa. I moved there for work, it took me nearly three years to realize that THAT is as good as it gets and another three years to actually escape. Theres an unexpectedly decent amount of support for underground metal there. But, like I described above, they're clutching at straws.

The rest of the lack of good taste, good people, etc.. follows suit. If theres good art, there'll be good people. The life lesson I learned from that is that the idea that the simpler/quieter life is better is a big load of shit.
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DarkerSkiesBurn
PostPosted: Fri Aug 19, 2016 3:05 pm  Reply with quote
Alaskan Avalancher


Joined: 19 Feb 2007
Posts: 321
Location: Arctic

I guess I was running away from a lot of nothing only to find more nothing.
I shouldn't really bitch since I haven't made every attempt at meeting people but the "metal" and "punk" shows appear to be high school kids.

So far, that pop music girl has been here, volbeat, suicide silence and five finger death puncn have played here. oh gawd how i loathe volbeat. ("bug juice" is a lyric in one of their songs) Makes me look back in fondness at the times when limp bizkit and godsmack were "making their mark.
Ugghhhh

I came for the work and I need to stay for a bit but I damn sure can't co exist with non progressive people. I mean, I can, but I don't want to.

I'll have to check out that gothcast. I was just drinking shitty scotch and pouting because of my stupid feelings Razz
I appreciate the kind words.

My soul's been crushed, make me heal crazy
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BassTotem
PostPosted: Fri Aug 19, 2016 7:59 pm  Reply with quote
Member


Joined: 21 Oct 2006
Posts: 1575
Location: moon

No experimental/free improv/"art" scene? Here in Budapest the metal/extreme scene suck ass, but we've got lots of free improv dudes, lots of them who are quite extreme in their own way. I'm sure there's something you just have to look in different directions.

For eg. take Romania, all things interesting rockish music was basically banned from the mid-70s until late 80s, yet trippy and extreme music still made it's way...in the form of mind experimental folk music:


Link To The YouTube Page Containing The Above Video


You've told that they're nuts about live music and its kind doesn't matter. Perhaps they're only lazy to check Flesh because they know they wouldn't see them live anyway. Deep down. Maybe organize extreme jam sessions? You need 1 string, 1 pickup, 1 amp and 1 distortion.

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blipseed
PostPosted: Mon Aug 22, 2016 3:20 am  Reply with quote
At least I have nice teeth?


Joined: 04 Sep 2006
Posts: 3832
Location: USSA

Instead of waiting for a scene to appear why not take the initiative and organise something yourself? DIY some flyers, spend an afternoon distributing them around to every remotely relevant record store / clothes store etc, find a bar that would be happy to give you control of the CD player for a few hours on a Thursday night.

Maybe only ten people will show but that'd be ten people with similar interests you didn't know before. Those people are out there, they are just in the same boat as yourself, nowhere to go. If zero people show, what's the harm done?

I remember going to see Gira play solo in Dublin a few years after Swans disbanded the first time round. Having been a Swans fan and active participant in the local gig scene for many years, I still only knew one other guy into Swans. Turn up for the gig expecting a few head nodders to be sparsely spread across the floor only to find 400 rabid Swans appreciators packed into the place. For an acoustic Gira gig. Even he was shocked I think.

Point being, there are people in your hood with similar interests, you just need to lure them out.

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doomride
PostPosted: Mon Aug 22, 2016 11:04 am  Reply with quote
Lord Marcus Ironfist teh Twonk-bane


Joined: 19 Oct 2006
Posts: 13358
Location: Miami,Florida

blipseed wrote:
Instead of waiting for a scene to appear why not take the initiative and organise something yourself? DIY some flyers, spend an afternoon distributing them around to every remotely relevant record store / clothes store etc, find a bar that would be happy to give you control of the CD player for a few hours on a Thursday night.

Maybe only ten people will show but that'd be ten people with similar interests you didn't know before. Those people are out there, they are just in the same boat as yourself, nowhere to go. If zero people show, what's the harm done?

I remember going to see Gira play solo in Dublin a few years after Swans disbanded the first time round. Having been a Swans fan and active participant in the local gig scene for many years, I still only knew one other guy into Swans. Turn up for the gig expecting a few head nodders to be sparsely spread across the floor only to find 400 rabid Swans appreciators packed into the place. For an acoustic Gira gig. Even he was shocked I think.

Point being, there are people in your hood with similar interests, you just need to lure them out.




This is solid advice....

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"Some people never go crazy.What truly horrible lives they must lead."
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timeless
PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2016 6:22 pm  Reply with quote
Member


Joined: 10 Oct 2007
Posts: 894
Location: Liverpool,UK

Sign of getting old also i think, am the same the amount of people when you were 15-25 into the scene was great now its just a handful of people still into it. The amount of times I've seen old friends and they say you still listen to that Rolling Eyes
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chickenf1sh
PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2016 9:49 am  Reply with quote
Chickenf1sh


Joined: 05 Sep 2006
Posts: 3014
Location: Manchester, England

IN IT FOR LIFE

Link To The YouTube Page Containing The Above Video

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Monotremata
PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2016 7:18 pm  Reply with quote
bent on world D.A.R.mination!


Joined: 05 Sep 2006
Posts: 11101
Location: 22 Acacia Ave.

chickenf1sh wrote:
IN IT FOR LIFE

Link To The YouTube Page Containing The Above Video


I was about to scream for the banhammer for posting Hymns material but god damn after like 15 years that album is finally growing on me.

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chickenf1sh
PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2016 8:01 pm  Reply with quote
Chickenf1sh


Joined: 05 Sep 2006
Posts: 3014
Location: Manchester, England

Ha, I knew you'd crack eventually Wink

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elrrek
PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2016 8:49 pm  Reply with quote
Enemy of the SCHWANZ


Joined: 04 Sep 2006
Posts: 6891
Location: We have always here.

The ban hammer doth swing!

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MONOTREMATA wrote:
NAAAAAAAAAANG-SHARK!

avocado diaboli wrote:
I fully suppotz this decision simply because beard.
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doomride
PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2016 9:37 pm  Reply with quote
Lord Marcus Ironfist teh Twonk-bane


Joined: 19 Oct 2006
Posts: 13358
Location: Miami,Florida

Monotremata wrote:
chickenf1sh wrote:
IN IT FOR LIFE

Link To The YouTube Page Containing The Above Video


I was about to scream for the banhammer for posting Hymns material but god damn after like 15 years that album is finally growing on me.




That album grew on me after the first listen...never fucking understood the hate...

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Boyd and Fiends
PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2016 12:40 pm  Reply with quote
Where am I?


Joined: 04 Sep 2006
Posts: 1849
Location: In the land of the silver fern

I've just recently moved to New Zealand and by chance I wore a Goat t-shirt to work (the bathory rip off one) and amazingly a guy there said Bathory!!!!

I guess I got lucky! Also there's a few Avalanchers here in Auckland which helps as well.
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elrrek
PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2016 3:19 pm  Reply with quote
Enemy of the SCHWANZ


Joined: 04 Sep 2006
Posts: 6891
Location: We have always here.

Boyd and Fiends wrote:
I've just recently moved to New Zealand and by chance I wore a Goat t-shirt to work (the bathory rip off one) and amazingly a guy there said Bathory!!!!

I guess I got lucky!


Nope.

Boyd and Fiends wrote:
Also there's a few Avalanchers here in Auckland which helps as well.


And nope again!

Poor guy. :hug:

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MONOTREMATA wrote:
NAAAAAAAAAANG-SHARK!

avocado diaboli wrote:
I fully suppotz this decision simply because beard.
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Boyd and Fiends
PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2016 4:51 pm  Reply with quote
Where am I?


Joined: 04 Sep 2006
Posts: 1849
Location: In the land of the silver fern

Should I have posted the 'friends are evil' tune??? no pom pom no pom pom no pom pom no pom pom yaaassss!
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Monotremata
PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2016 10:57 pm  Reply with quote
bent on world D.A.R.mination!


Joined: 05 Sep 2006
Posts: 11101
Location: 22 Acacia Ave.

Boyd and Fiends wrote:
Should I have posted the 'friends are evil' tune??? no pom pom no pom pom no pom pom no pom pom yaaassss!


Duh ALWAYS post that tune.

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saxenhammer
PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2016 7:35 pm  Reply with quote
Member


Joined: 07 Apr 2008
Posts: 1805
Location: Stirling

Move to Berlin!

That IS the answer Wink

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elrrek
PostPosted: Thu Oct 20, 2016 8:43 am  Reply with quote
Enemy of the SCHWANZ


Joined: 04 Sep 2006
Posts: 6891
Location: We have always here.

Monotremata wrote:
Boyd and Fiends wrote:
Should I have posted the 'friends are evil' tune??? no pom pom no pom pom no pom pom no pom pom yaaassss!


Duh ALWAYS post that tune.


(facepalm)

saxenhammer wrote:
Move to Berlin!

That IS the answer Wink


Ssssshhhhh!!! Don't say that near Avo, he get's upset when people suggest moving to Berlin.

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MONOTREMATA wrote:
NAAAAAAAAAANG-SHARK!

avocado diaboli wrote:
I fully suppotz this decision simply because beard.
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DarkerSkiesBurn
PostPosted: Sun Oct 23, 2016 7:09 pm  Reply with quote
Alaskan Avalancher


Joined: 19 Feb 2007
Posts: 321
Location: Arctic

But I don't speak German, and my English is Turrible and I have no college degrees with which to be considered a skilled person. Does loving the very idea of moving to Germany or the UK qualify me to establish residence and citizenship?

The answer is always going to be a no. What if trump wins; could I be considered a refugee???
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